I really really don't want to plan a wedding.
I feel weird about it, because I know I should be super excited about centerpieces and cupcakes. I know most women love planning their wedding and even have more than one because they love it so much. Or something. But I really don't want to do it.
See, I spend all of my time either on the internet instead of doing something I actually like doing, like a retard; or with Carter. Doing Carter things. Like cuddling or carrying him around whenever he wants. So after my long boring days of internet and Carter, I sometimes like to go out and spend money. Or read a magazine. Or a book. Maybe I might even one day perhaps paint again. I do want to try water colours...
Anyway the last thing I want to do is take time to go to a place and try on dresses and stress out about money (because we'll never have enough) and crying because nobody is doing it for me.
I love Mike. I love him so much that I don't even care about a wedding. I'd actually rather not bother with the whole affair, to be quite honest. I do want to celebrate getting married and I do want to wear a pretty dress and stuff but I really don't want to give up the very little me time that I have and spend it on doing something as awful as planning a wedding. Am I crazy? If only somebody could just do everything for me. Like a wedding planner that worked for free and didn't bother asking you to do anything, she just reads your mind instead. That is the future!
I don't want to plan a wedding. I just want to elope.
mum jams: fool on the hill - bjork
