Thursday, September 30, 2010

working, and how much my lazy ass hates doing it.

I am going to just come clean.  Y'all deserve to know.
I am on the hunt for a job.
I got one, not long ago, at a restaurant.  The boss was going to give me ideal shifts, excellent hours, I had heard rumours of excellent tips, and I nailed the interview.  I think this guy really liked me.
So Mike and I went out to get appropriate attire for my first shift.  I was to start the next day.  I was nervous, apprehensive, but willing.
The next day, I was basically dreading it all day long.  It's been a year since I have worked, and honestly I HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER OH MY GOD WORKING SUCKS I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT!!!  Ahem.  But I was mentally prepping myself.  I was ready to go.  As ready as I could be.
It was a half an hour before my very first shift when I felt my hands getting sweaty.  My mouth going dry.  Tears welled up in my eyes and I took off my work outfit in a frenzy and fell into a pathetic pile in the middle of the floor, bawling my eyes out.  Lowest of the low.  Mike is across the basement looking at me like I'm some homeless dude following him for blocks yelling "YOU DON'T KNOW ME!" or something.  I just made that simile up on the spot.  It's not supposed to be great.
ANYWAY.  Yeah.  Mike thought I was a total freak.
I didn't go.
I felt terrible about it.  I just got too scared.  Something came over me.  It wasn't a last ditch effort to just get out of working.  If I wanted to do that, I wouldn't have gone to the interview.  Although, I do have to admit that it was a pretty convenient time for an anxiety attack.
But in all seriousness, it wasn't an act, and it wasn't funny.

Our doctor wrote me a prescription for pills that make me confused and slow.  And happy.  These will help me in the future.
And that's a good thing because I have to get back out there and find a J-O-B.
But I don't want just any job!  I want a cool job, DAMMIT!
And just you wait.  I'll get a cool job.  Or at least, something better than folding t-shirts all day long at Sears.  Fuck that.  And fuck serving.  I hated that.  I hated that for all of the miserable years that I did it.  I have an education, dammit.  And a pretty face.

I just hope prospective employers aren't into googling their potential employees...

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