I know: Where have I been?

The truth is, the timing has just never been right!  Mike's home a lot because of the rain recently, and I can't really sit and write when he's home because he's always like, "Whatcha doin'?" and then I have to say "bloggin'", and he'll say "about what?" and then I have to close the laptop and save it for later because Mike has decided to start the Bowles Inquisition on me and then I just watch whatever's happening on the Oprah Winfrey Network (my new addiction).
But let's just give you a little update, shall we?
Mowgli is finally starting to walk around.  He says lots of different words and I'm very proud of him.
I was diagnosed with 4 different mental illnesses and this has been both a blessing and a curse.  On the one hand I'm thinking this is great, I finally have a name (or four) for all of the things I feel and think and everything I go through and It's real, other people have it too, I'm not alone, yay!  and on the other hand I'm just kind of bummed out about the fact that I have four different mental illnesses and will never be normal, no matter what I do.
C'est la vie!

I have also made a very serious resolution.
About a week ago I said I was going to quit drinking.  And I should, I should.  But that's just so hard to do... and I haven't hit rock bottom yet so I came up with another, even better plan:
Have a couple of drinks every once in a while, as long as you're not hurting yourself or someone else, who really cares?  Right?
Just go to bed before midnight.  Or try to go to bed before midnight, especially if you've been drinking.  I forget who it was that first said this to me, but somebody once said nothing good has ever happened after midnight and I tend to agree.  I can't remember the last time anything good ever happened to me after midnight.  In fact, after midnight it usually when everything goes for a shit.
After midnight, everyone you meet just wants to screw your brains out.
After midnight, food isn't any good because it's all headed straight to your ass.
After midnight, anything you say can upset someone and sending text messages to anyone will make you look like a crazy person.
After midnight, anything you spend money on is just a complete waste.
After midnight, no one is on facebook to talk to.
And so on and so forth.
So I'm going to try my damnedest to go to bed before midnight, no matter what!
Wish me luck, internetland.

The post in which I begrudgingly admit that I still need a little work (on the inside)...

I've given the whole New Years Resolution thing a lot of thought.

And I have decided that it is bullshit.

After careful consideration, I have come to the conclusion that I could not attempt to be any better than I already am, because it would be futile and would only result in disappointment.

Okay, I have one resolution: let go of the anger.

Here's a secret: I am a very angry lady.  And I can hold a grudge with the best of them.  But when I make a mistake, I expect others to forgive me.  Albeit, some things are completely unforgivable and I refuse to even entertain the thought, but I should probably stop thinking about all the shitty things that have been done to me and focus on the good things that happen every day.
For instance, Carter is saying mama all the time now.  *Insert big, shit eating grin here*
Oh, and I still love my job (and my 2 week hiatus).
Mike is a wonderful guy whose expectations of me remain startlingly low.  Thank God.
I had a very Chanel Christmas.  That was awesome.
Yes, good things happen all the time.  So I need to let go of the anger.
I will not harbour negative thoughts.  My mind is a peaceful, tranquil sea of calm happiness.

I'm still angry.  Maybe I will just shut up about it from now on.  Yes.  Good plan.

So anyway, yeah, fuck resolutions!  Things are going great just the way they are.
Except I am still in this basement.
Maybe in 2011 I should consider working more.  Working harder.  Saving money.
Yes.  Another good plan.

Alright, maybe I'm not perfect.  But at least I've got love.  And Chanel.

2010.

Dear 2010,

            You were a great year.  And I want you to know, I do not say that to all the years.  Especially 2005 and 2006.  They really sucked.  In fact, I hated them and I told them to never come back.  This is the first time I have even bothered mentioning those assholes.
What happened in 2010?  I think a lot of shit happened.  I discovered that you no longer have to buy pomegranates to enjoy the seeds.  You can buy the seeds without the peel.  But this is a rich person luxury and I haven't bought it yet.  But I will.  When I'm feeling fancy.
2010, you brought me a freaking baby.  'Nough said.
I really grew up inside you, 2010.  And I emerged like the beautiful butterfly that I always knew I was.
I wear a lot more designer things now too, 2010.
In 2010 I decided to ditch the Oxford comma.  Fuck the Oxford comma.
I didn't do anything I seriously regretted.  Not a single thing.
2010, you showed me that I am French, on the inside.  And you showed me how to make a killer croque monsieur,
You showed me how to be a mother, and how to stop sweating the small stuff, and stop acknowledging the small people.
You introduced me to the combination of brie, turkey and apple slices.  Mmm.
2010 was good for my depression.  It lifted fully and completely.

Hopes for 2011 include:
Trying to be an even better mother.
Perfecting the Chocolate Soufflé.
A visit to Ashta (fuck those ticket prices, but I'm coming)
A house!
An incredible Dr. Seuss themed first birthday party, complete with a bubble maker and Cat in the Hat hats.
I have no idea what 2011 has in store...

2010, I don't care what anyone says.  It's not going to be easy to top you.