Thursday, March 24, 2011

The House is a Mess.

Why is my blog losing followers?
I'm going to disable the following function, that way my feelings don't have to get hurt all the time by complete strangers.  I hope you're all happy.

So the dogs are driving me fucking nuts.  Well, actually the dogs are really just the beginning.  My parents have been gone for over 2 weeks now.  And the dogs go absolutely apeshit when my mom isn't home.  They don't know what to do with themselves.  They're like a couple of weirdos at a televangelist church.  You probably didn't understand that one, but in my mind it made perfect sense.  They are a couple of televangelists and they can't find Ted Haggard.  They're completely flipping out.  Babycakes, right now, is panting insanely, staring at me and whimpering for no reason I can figure.
They make themselves so sick with worry and stress that they shit and puke on the floor in the middle of the night.  And I have to clean it.
And then there's the brood of boys in the house who are all seemingly incapable of picking up after themselves.  I was resisting at first.  Let them live in their own filth, I said to myself.  But sure enough, things got so bad that I had no choice but to scrape the moldy dishes, wipe every surface with ammonia and wash barf out of carpets (baby and dog).  Plus, Carter began taking the wheels off of Ryan's tiny skateboard toys and crawling around with them hidden in his cheek.  So something had to be done.
The absolute lack of respect and gratitude from everybody in this family is staggering.  I am taking care of everything and at the end of the day, I usually have to deal with Mike trying to get in my pants.  Not cool.  Not cool at all.  He doesn't get it.  Anybody else would have stolen a credit card and gone to a hotel to save their sanity.
Being in this position has made me decide to get an IUD.  I think that's the one that they implant in your arm and you can't get knocked up for 5 years.  I want that one, whatever its name is.  If I had another boy and had to deal with another man's bullshit and disgusting habits, I would probably end up on a slab of some description.
Oh well.  That's what's going on the last little while.  I am also planning a small party for Mowgli's first birthday.  I can't believe how much fun some mothers have doing this sort of thing.  I think I'd rather just rent a big bouncy castle and call it a day.  Turns out, they're not cheap.

What came first, the drinking or the blogging?  I hardly recall.

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