the beach is which way?

It's 10am...
The birds are outside chirping, the sun is shining in through the window, the baby is in a great mood and I just want to go back to bed.
Fucking hell.

So, I definitely had a social life this past weekend.  I did things.  I forgot my camera, so you might just have to take my word for it.  I was around people.
Sunday, I stayed in my jamjams all day and read poetry and did some painting (some really good stuff, in my opinion - you ought to see my jellyfish...).  And I lost my incredible feeling and it was replaced by a bad feeling.  A dreadful feeling.
People let me down.  People decide all the time that they no longer want me in their lives.  I'm sure it's the same way with everyone, but I feel it so much more.  How many friends have I had that are just no longer there?  How many people have let me down?  Vanished?  Gotten up and left to do something important with their lives?  Or just decide to ignore me forever?  How many relationships just change for no reason at all?
I hate change so much.  I hate surprises.  Where did everyone go?
So even though I had a wonderful, magical weekend... it's the future that worries me.  All we have is now, is what everyone always says.. but that's not true at all.  Now is here and gone so fucking quickly that we never have Now.  It's gone before we can ever even touch it.  All we really have is the future.  That's all we have.  And the future is full of tragedies, joys, worries, new people and situations, lost friends and found friends, mysteries and problems.  More problems.  Always more problems.
I miss everyone who leaves.
But I don't think everyone who leaves misses me.


Must spend some time on the beach this summer.  Must.

Why The Internet Sucks.

The internet sucks because I can't be friends with this girl in real life.  Because she lives in Illinois and I was there once and I hated it.  But if she lived next door I can guarantee I would make her love me and be my best friend forever.
The internet sucks because it has to remind me that there are awesomely funny and super cool people everywhere except right beside me.  Shit.

Here is Brianne's Blog.  She also goes by Uncle Beef, apparently.  I love this girl.  I've always been a bit of a chubby chaser anyway... but this is about more than that.  This is about kindred spirits.  I've made lots of music videos on my laptop.  But none were awesome so I kept them to myself.

Alena thinks I'm stylish!

This is awesome because it kind of offsets all the shitty that's been heading my way the last few days.  So Thank you, Alena for making me smile.  And also for giving me a whole crap load of other stuff to do in order to receive the award.  

The rules for accepting this blog award are as follows:

1. Thank and link back to the person who gave you the award.

2. Share seven random things about yourself.

3. Award fifteen other bloggers.

4. Contact these bloggers, and tell them about their award!

 So seven random things, eh?
Sure, how hard could it be.

1. I have nightmares every night.  And I also remember almost every dream I've ever had.  I'm also a lucid dreamer (not all the time, but sometimes), which I have heard is very special and not everyone is capable of.  
2. I am an insane lip product collector.  Stains, glosses, sticks, balms, I have so much of the shit.  But I cant stop buying more.  And I never put them all in one place, so sometimes I find one laying around somewhere that I've never even used, and usually I take that as a sign that it's going to be a good day.
3. I can tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi, but only if they're in cans.  Canned Coke is sooooo much better than canned Pepsi.  Bottles coke tastes like shit but bottled pepsi is excellent.
4. I have a great picture of Sid Vicious and it was created entirely out of duct tape.  I thought that was cool.
5. I'm afraid of spiders, the dark, balconies that are really high, alien abductions, and I am also a little bit claustrophobic.  Crowds of people infuriate me.  I have a terrible time at Ribfest.  
6. My favourite thing in the world to do is snuggle with Carter and sniff the top of his head, because it smells so nice and it makes him giggle insanely.
7. I've never had a broken bone or stitches (well, I had 2 stitches after I had Carter so maybe that should count), but I had a bad nose bleed (and my nose was almost broken) when I was 7 years old, and since then I have never had another.

Now.  15 Stylish bloggers.

1. MAJA RAVN 
2. The Simply Luxurious Life
3. Down and Out Chic
4. soul aperture
5. jill gg's Good Life for Less
6. Caroline in the City
7. My Little Happy Place
8. shoebox decor
9. The Love List
10. PURE mamas blog
11. babilisme
12. Sweety Pie Style
13. The Paris Apartment
14. Tea For Joy
15. seablanket

Interiors - because it's been a while.

Because this is quickly turning into a music blog (which it isn't) I had to post pics of beautiful interiors just to get back in my zone.  This one came from Delikatissen and when I have lots and lots of money because I've finally figured out what I'm doing with my life, my house will look just like this.

Inspiring Interiors: From Design Shimmer

What Katie Ate

 

I want to be a foodie.  I do.  I want to make gorgeous, hearty, colourful meals from scratch every night of the week.  I want to be a lady in a scarf at the grocery store feeling up the yams.  I want to win Gordon Ramsay's blind taste test.  I do love food.  I want it to love me back.  So far, not so lucky.

I love your style: Chiara Ferragni

Chiara's Flickr
Her blog, The blonde Salad

The Bloggers

I think it takes a special kind of person to create a place on the internet where anybody can go and learn about their lives, or judge them.
These are who we are, as writers, and we have to own it.
So when confronted with something that I've written, even if it was probably a stupid thing to write to begin with, I have to smile and say "yep, that's how it seemed to me".  And people will form all kinds of opinions and say all kinds of awful things about us but none of that matters.  We have to own it.
Just like any book will be read by different people, and they will all have read it in their own way, and formed their own opinions, this is also how it goes with our blogs.  And if we love to write and if people can relate to us and enjoy reading it, then we can't let the spotlight scare us from doing what we love to do.

Some of the strongest bloggers out there are mothers.  And they get all kinds of hate mail because strangers like to think that they can judge what kind of parent you are by whatever you write.  But anybody who is actually a mother can relate to almost everything that a 'mommyblogger' posts, and that's what makes them so uncompromisingly  popular with moms and readers all over the world, and it is what enables them to literally make a living through their blogs.

So who cares what those hate mailers write?
Well, no matter where it comes from or what it says, when your parenting skills are criticized you will get angry, as a mother.  But it's important to know that no one can get an accurate, full idea of the person you truly are just by reading a few paragraphs in a blog that you update every few days or so.

Anyway, in the spirit of dealing with blog-reader hatred, I have posted some of the most incredible blogs I have ever come across, written by people who just OWN IT and who have risen to internet fame as a result of their resilience and strength.

Dooce
Finslippy
No Ordinary Rollercoaster
Hyperbole and a Half
Bitchin Aint Easy

To every blogger who tells it like it is, who shares their thoughts and lives with complete strangers (who sometimes turn out to be maniacal idiots), and who stand their ground in the name of what they love to do, I salute you.