The post in which I begrudgingly admit that I still need a little work (on the inside)...

I've given the whole New Years Resolution thing a lot of thought.

And I have decided that it is bullshit.

After careful consideration, I have come to the conclusion that I could not attempt to be any better than I already am, because it would be futile and would only result in disappointment.

Okay, I have one resolution: let go of the anger.

Here's a secret: I am a very angry lady.  And I can hold a grudge with the best of them.  But when I make a mistake, I expect others to forgive me.  Albeit, some things are completely unforgivable and I refuse to even entertain the thought, but I should probably stop thinking about all the shitty things that have been done to me and focus on the good things that happen every day.
For instance, Carter is saying mama all the time now.  *Insert big, shit eating grin here*
Oh, and I still love my job (and my 2 week hiatus).
Mike is a wonderful guy whose expectations of me remain startlingly low.  Thank God.
I had a very Chanel Christmas.  That was awesome.
Yes, good things happen all the time.  So I need to let go of the anger.
I will not harbour negative thoughts.  My mind is a peaceful, tranquil sea of calm happiness.

I'm still angry.  Maybe I will just shut up about it from now on.  Yes.  Good plan.

So anyway, yeah, fuck resolutions!  Things are going great just the way they are.
Except I am still in this basement.
Maybe in 2011 I should consider working more.  Working harder.  Saving money.
Yes.  Another good plan.

Alright, maybe I'm not perfect.  But at least I've got love.  And Chanel.

Merry Merry Happy Happy!

I'm spoiling my son.

I totally am.  I'm ruining him completely, OMG I don't want to be a terrible mother but I hate when he cried HOW DOES ANYONE MANAGE?!

I've been bad for taking the path of least resistance when it comes to Carter since day one.
Remember when I had to keep him in the Snugli all day, every day?
Remember when he was teething and I let him sleep with us because I couldn't listen to him cry in utter despairing loneliness and pain all night long?
I am a sucker.
And today, I bought him a toy at Sears just to shut him up.  And it didn't even work.
Sigh.  But I love him and he knows exactly how to get what he wants out of me.

Anyway, this is also a note to say MERRY CHRISTMAS to all my readers.  I have been pretty chincey with the posts lately, but Christmas preparations have kept me super busy and much too tired to come up with blogging material.  I know what you're thinking; you actually have to think up this bullshit?  Yes.

Oh!  I went into Zara for the first time ever the other day.  Looky:

: o  !!!!!!!

I don't know when I became this superficial fashion whore but I suspect my time spent as a stay at home mommy has something to do with it.

Anyway, merry christmas and I love you.

GIFSoup

GIFSoup

Farewell To You and the Youth I Have Spent With You.

Maybe when I was a little girl I idealized you.  Maybe I was just in denial of what you really were.  Are, actually.  This Christmas is going to be a little different from years of past, but at least it will be an honest Christmas.  This year, I won't be sitting amongst people I don't even know, and people who consider me unimportant.  Sheep's clothing for Christmas, wrapped up with a little bow...
I will be spending Christmas with the people who love me, and the people who show me every day that I'm important to them.  I will be drinking lots of wine, singing lots of songs, and it will be the happiest day of my life because I will be sharing it with my son, and all the people he has grown to love.  And those people are lucky to have his love.
I will never again so easily trust, and no one will have the opportunity to try and ruin my life ever again.  Yours is not a world that I recognize.  I can't walk around pretending the way you can.  Pretending everything's fine.  Pretending I love my family.  Pretending I'm not the loneliest and saddest woman on the face of the Earth.  I will never pretend.  I will tell evil people that they are evil.  I will stay home if I don't feel like seeing someone's disgustingly fake smiling face "How ARE yooooou?"  And I will never come to another Christmas gathering with you again.  And when everyone starts dwindling away, and Carter and I are still here, you will have wished that you stood up for what was right when you had the chance.  But now it's clear I never knew you at all.  When I was a little girl, I actually thought you hung the moon.
But kids are stupid.

2010.

Dear 2010,

            You were a great year.  And I want you to know, I do not say that to all the years.  Especially 2005 and 2006.  They really sucked.  In fact, I hated them and I told them to never come back.  This is the first time I have even bothered mentioning those assholes.
What happened in 2010?  I think a lot of shit happened.  I discovered that you no longer have to buy pomegranates to enjoy the seeds.  You can buy the seeds without the peel.  But this is a rich person luxury and I haven't bought it yet.  But I will.  When I'm feeling fancy.
2010, you brought me a freaking baby.  'Nough said.
I really grew up inside you, 2010.  And I emerged like the beautiful butterfly that I always knew I was.
I wear a lot more designer things now too, 2010.
In 2010 I decided to ditch the Oxford comma.  Fuck the Oxford comma.
I didn't do anything I seriously regretted.  Not a single thing.
2010, you showed me that I am French, on the inside.  And you showed me how to make a killer croque monsieur,
You showed me how to be a mother, and how to stop sweating the small stuff, and stop acknowledging the small people.
You introduced me to the combination of brie, turkey and apple slices.  Mmm.
2010 was good for my depression.  It lifted fully and completely.

Hopes for 2011 include:
Trying to be an even better mother.
Perfecting the Chocolate Soufflé.
A visit to Ashta (fuck those ticket prices, but I'm coming)
A house!
An incredible Dr. Seuss themed first birthday party, complete with a bubble maker and Cat in the Hat hats.
I have no idea what 2011 has in store...

2010, I don't care what anyone says.  It's not going to be easy to top you.

A Yummy Home Made Present for my Lovelies...

Rhoda’s Peppermint Hot Fudge Sauce
Yields 4 cups

2 c. unsweetened cocoa powder
1 1/2 c. sugar
1 c. brown sugar
1/4 t. Kosher salt
2 c. heavy cream
1 c. unsalted butter, cut into pieces
2 t. peppermint extract (substitute vanilla, if you don’t want the mint flavor)

Directions: In a double boiler over medium heat stir in cocoa, sugars and salt. Add the cream and butter. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly until the butter is melted and the sauce comes together and is smooth and glossy. Bring to a boil for 1 minute. Then, remove the bowl from the heat and let cool for 5 minutes. Stir in the peppermint extract. Store in the fridge and re-heat when ready to use.

Storage notes: This sauce is great to packages in glass jars for gifts. When pouring the sauce from the bowl into the jar it is helpful to use a kitchen funnel if you have one available. This sauce will stay in the fridge for up to two weeks or more.

Serving ideas: In addition to ice-cream, this sauce is excellent drizzled over slices of pound cake, cheesecake or a meringue. The version made with vanilla extract is also delicious served with poached fruit.

[source]

Having Myself a Merry Little Christmas.

So!

Having a baby has made me a little more crafty this Christmas (I know it's still so far away - and that's good because I really haven't gotten any gifts for anyone yet - but celebrating early and long are the only ways to really enjoy the holiday at all).
Mike and I spent a whole lot of money at Michael's getting stuff for me to make festive holiday-type things, and prepare to package the delicious caramel bars I'm making for everyone as gifts.  I really wanted to try watercolours and buy a set of colours, some brushes and a book, but I just didn't have the money.  Sigh.
I'm so excited for Christmas with Carter.  Mike is too.  So excited, in fact, that he already gave C his big Christmas gift already (the laugh and learn stride-to-ride car) because he just couldn't wait.  Now he has to go buy him another one.
Here's what I did.

Pretty awesome.  I know.
And now, here is what I want for Christmas.  You can e-mail me at lindsayoquinn@gmail.com if you need my address.  ;)

I MUST Find This for Carter..

It'll definitely be a Merry Christmas in the Basement chez Bowles when my little rugrat finds this guy under the tree:

It's Punk Rock Rody!  This guy is based on the band Suicidal Tendencies, which I think is just awesome because I can totally see my little baby boy growing up loving Punk just like his mommy did when she was younger. 

They are only making 500 of these awesome twists on the classic rocking toy and I have to have one.  So if you can decipher this page and tell me how to pre-order one, that would be super of you.

If not, then... I will have to buy him a regular Rody and jazz him up myself.  But I'm pretty lazy so...

Etsy Christmas Gift Ideas...

Wool Shawl
Things That Go Felt Set
I Spy Bag
Corset
Wild Yellow Plum Jam
Green Satin Gown
Breakfast Play Food Set
Fingerless Mits
Peacock Heels
Vintage Toy Wristwatch
Superhero Capes
Kinies Classic Canvas Bag
Vintage Push-Pin Ornaments
Vintage Ballet Flats
John and Yoko Finger Puppets
High Waisted Pencil Skirt
I Heart to Fart Dog Tag
Yoshi Eating Apple Macbook Decal